Jesus Take The Wheel: Florida Man Claims That The “Wind” Blew A Bag Of Cocaine Into His Car During Traffic Stop

Three lines of cocaine next to a pile of it

Source: NoSystem images / Getty

Florida Man Tells Cops That Wind Must Have Blown Coke Into His Car

According to The Smoking Gun, a Florida Man told cops that the wind may have blown a “bag of cocaine residue” into car during a traffic stop.

Authorities in Fort Pierce  pulled over a vehicle driven by Joseph Zak after his car ran a stop sign. That’s when a police officer spotted Zak making “furtive movements, leaning over towards the center console as attempting to discard an item out the passenger window” as he was being pulled over.

After spotting an open beer can, cops searched the car and found a glass crack pipe and a clear baggie “with a whitish residue, which tested positive for crack cocaine”.

Questioned about the baggie, Zak denied ownership of the item and claimed that “the police or the wind must have placed it there.”

Zak was subsequently arrested on multiple charges and booked into the St. Lucie County jail.

Jesus Take The Wheel: Florida Teen Is Being Accused Of Trying To Hire A Hitman To Kill A School Staff Member

School Desks

Source: Elizabeth Fernandez / Getty

Florida Teen Accused Of Trying To Hire Hitman To Kill A School Facility Member

According to the Tampa Bay Times, an 18-year-old high school student is facing first degree solicitation to attempt murder charges after offering $100,000 for a hit on a high school staff member.

Nicholas R. Godfrey was arrested after an Instagram account with the request for “a guy who could kill someone” was traced to a computer IP address at his home. Godfrey reportedly offered $100,000 to another student to clap unnamed Fivay High staff.

Godfrey reportedly messaged: “No joke, I need him eliminated as soon as possible,”

Authorities are still scratching their heads as to why he sent the request, as the teen had no known past problems with the staff member, who was provided protection as a precaution. Godfrey later confessed that he was only joking.

“It doesn’t matter what the intent was,” the sheriff said. “When you do it and post it on social media, the crime is committed.”

Godfrey is now sitting in a county jail.

A Pirate’s Life: Florida Man Known For Wearing Captain Jack Sparrow Costume Perishes Paddleboarding

Joshua Hensley enjoyed dressing up as Captain Jack Sparrow

Source: Citrus County Sheriff's Office / SplashNews / Splash News

Florida Man Called “Captain Jack Sparrow” Found Dead After Going Paddleboarding

This is so sad. The body of 43-year-old Joshua Grant Hensley was found by local marine officials on Monday, days after he was last seen heading out on Crystal River on his paddleboard. Hensley was often referred to as “Captain Jack Sparrow” by locals because he enjoyed dressing up like Johnny Depp’s Pirates of the Caribbean character. Citrus County Sheriff’s Office shared the news via Facebook:

The body of 43 year old Joshua Hensley was recovered by Marine Unit Deputies in the waters of Kings Bay in Crystal River.The Citrus County Sheriff’s Office will continue to investigate the incident, and we will provide more information as it becomes available. We offer our deepest condolences to Joshua’s family and friends in this difficult time. “Captain Jack” was a beloved figure in the community and will be missed.

A Crystal River native, Hensley owned his own paddleboarding company called Big Foot Paddle Boards. He was last seen by Hunter Springs Park Rangers around 6:30 pm Saturday, when authorities believe Hensley was heading to Shell Island to watch the sunset. They have yet to find any evidence that he ever made it there.

Joshua Hensley enjoyed dressing up as Captain Jack Sparrow

Source: Citrus County Sheriff's Office / SplashNews / Splash News

A spokesperson for the Citrus County Sheriff’s Office said park rangers decided to contact the sheriff’s office Sunday evening after noticing Hensley’s car was still parked in the Hunter Springs parking lot from the night before. Monday morning the Citrus Sheriff’s Office posted a missing persons alert on Facebook about Hensley’s disappearance, however the Citrus County Sheriff’s Office Aviation and Marine Units searched the waters for Hensley and revealed just three hours after their initial post that they had located his body in the waters of Kings Bay.

Hensley’s paddleboard was also discovered on Monday in King’s Bay near Pete’s Pier.

Hensley’s final post on his company’s Facebook page, was captioned “ready to go have fun on the water” and featured a photo of himself in his Captain Jack Sparrow costume holding up his paddleboard.

According to People reports, a celebration of life for Hensley has been scheduled for Saturday, Sept. 22 at 6 p.m. ET, where Hensley’s loved ones plan to remember him “for the amazing man he was.”

“We will be encouraging everyone to come and tell their favorite stories of Josh, give hugs, and send little fiery boats out into the water he loved,” the Facebook event’s description reads. “We would appreciate if everyone would write a special message to Josh in your boats as well.”

This is incredibly sad. He seems to have been a wonderful person, judging by the many comments on his Facebook and locals who recall him being very kind to kids. Prayers up to his loved ones.

Breakfast & Break-In: Burglar Is Caught Cooking Morning Meal In Man’s Home, Tells Resident To “Go Back To Sleep”

Eggs

Source: James Ross / Getty

Burglar Caught Cooking Breakfast For Himself In Someone’s Home

Nothing like waking up to a stranger in your home who entered illegally.

I meaaaaan, if they got you on the sunny side ups though, no hard feelings right?

According to WSB-TV, police say a burglar broke into a Florida home and made time to cook breakfast for himself. When the resident arose to the kitchen wonderer, the trespasser had the nerve to tell the resident “go back to sleep.”

The resident told investigators that he awoke to find the man cooking and eating sometime after 4 a.m. on Tuesday. The burglar then reportedly ran from the house when the resident dialed 911. Deputies from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office tracked down the guy in a swampy and wooded location behind the home.

Deputies identified him as Gavin Crim, a 19-year-old Marine who allegedly entered the home via an unlocked rear door.

An arrest report said that the suspect might have been under the influence of alcohol.

Well…hopefully he was well fed and his eggs were fluffed to perfection.

Heartbreaking: Florida Teen Kills Toddler He Was Babysitting Over Her Crying

US-CRIME-POLICE-CHILDREN

Source: JORDAN GONZALEZ / Getty

14-Year Old Babysitter Murders 3-Year Old

14-year old Jonathan Godwin has been placed under arrested for allegedly murdering a 3-year-old girl that he was babysitting. Jacksonville Police accused Godwin of repeatedly hitting the girl in her chest, back, legs and head with his fist and a belt in an attempt to get her to stop crying.

Reports say the teen was left in charge to babysit the little girl and two other small children. According to police:

While watching the victim for several hours, [Godwin] became annoyed with the victim for crying and repeatedly hit her. The victim was found unresponsive by [Godwin’s] mother, and was transported to a local hospital where she was pronounced deceased.”

The report also revealed that Godwin had a history of “abusing and burning another small child. He was arrested on Friday after admitting to the abuse and confessing to being involved in the little girl’s death, which was ruled a homicide Wednesday. The teen is being held on murder and aggravated child abuse charges, but no word on whether or not his mother will face charges also.

Janky Journey: Cable Cord Snaps On Amusement Park Slingshot Ride Just Before It Launches [Video]

Amusement Park Ride Breaks Down On Passengers

Final Destination movies are nothing compared to cheating death in real life. Two Florida tourists are counting their lucky stars this week after facing quite a scare on a Cobra Adventure Amusement Park ride. On Saturday, the slingshot ride at the Front Beach Road park broke while two passengers were strapped in and about to ride.

Video footage shows the men strapped down on the Cobra ride as the employee gets ready to slingshot them into the air. The all of a sudden, the cord holding the ride snapped and ripped into shreds before the passengers even left the ground. Krissy Hurst, who recorded the viral footage, says the park did issue the men a refund and that the scare didn’t stop the men from hopping on the go-carts before they left

The slingshot ride was cancelled for the rest of the night, however, park officials say it’s back up and running now, and inspectors are coming out to check it. Be safe, though.

Bite Into Crime: Florida Woman Allegedly Chews Off Boyfriend’s Thumb And Leaves Pieces Of It On The Floor 

Thumb

Source: Monty Rakusen / Getty

Florida Woman Reportedly Bites Off Boyfriend’s Thumb

Florida love is a different type of love, apparently. A Lutz woman got into a fight with her child’s father over the weekend and reportedly bit off part of his thumb and left pieces of it on the floor for the children to see. According to the PASCO County Sheriff‘s office, 39-year old Yesenia Casiano “willfully and intentionally” bit off part of the man’s thumb, removing a piece of it and causing serious bodily injury.

WBTW reports:

“Casiano allegedly hit the man several times with open and closed fists and kicked him in the stomach.The act was witnessed by children living inside of the home, who also observed what is believed to be a piece of the man’s thumb on the floor of their living room.”

Before deputies arrived at the Lutz home, Yesenia had fled the scene in her Black Ford van. Shortly after, the mom was arrested for domestic aggravated battery resulting in serious injuries. However, the arrest report states her whereabouts are unknown.

Chiiiileee. Hide your kids, hide your thumbs.

 

Florida Food Fougazie: Raw Piece Of Chicken Crawls It’s Way Off A Dinner Plate At Korean Restaurant [Video]

 

Raw Chicken Comes Back To Life On Customers Plate

People often joke about meat possibly still being alive when eating at fast food restaurants — and that was the case for one Florida customer who went to get their grub on at a Korean restaurant in Florida. Rie Phillips took to Facebook earlier this week to share her horrifying experience at the Asian food establishment, where a piece of her meall actually came to life and walked off the plate.

In the creepy footage, you can see the chicken carcass lift itself up and mosey right off of the dinner table as customers are heard yelling in the background. As disgusting as it seems, moving meat is not rare. Health experts said the freakish spasms were caused by nerve endings that had not died. The viral video already has over 4 million hits and wild, crazy comments. One person joked, “Hell no if my food is walking, I’m walking too.”

What would you did if your poultry decided to dip out?

Florida PAIN: Doctors Get Epidural Stuck In Mother’s Back After She Just Gave Birth

Pregnant woman outdoors in countryside

Source: Getty

Doctors Get Epidural Catheter Stuck In Mother’s Back After She Gave Birth

One Florida mother had to deal with excruciating pain, even after giving birth to her newborn daughter.

According to the Pensacola News Journal, 18-year-old Selena Gray was left traumatized after an epidural catheter became lodge in her back as she was giving birth early Wednesday morning. The teen asked fro the epidural to subside the pain during labor. However, Gray and her mother, Patricia Alvarado, never would have imagined the situation that would follow the routine injection.

“After she delivered, they attempted to take the epidural out and they couldn’t,” Alvarado said. “Between the 48 hours that we were there, she had five doctors come in, tugging and pulling on her back, attempting to get the epidural out and they could not get it out.”

Alvarado explained that the epidural catheter formed a knot in Gray’s back right near her spinal cord. The pain was so intense that the young mother could barely walk and she had to be carried to the bathroom.

 

After a sixth doctor suggested they “yank it out,” Alvarado had enough and she wanted to have her daughter and new granddaughter released from Sacred Heart Hospital to get help elsewhere.

However, the doctors would not discharge Gray because she was just shy of the medically advised 48-hour, post-birth window under hospital care.

“We felt trapped, like, ‘Wow, this is really happening,’” Alvarado said. She even claimed Sacred Heart officials threatened to call Florida Department of Children and Families if Gray and her newborn daughter left.

Eventually, Alvarado called 911, and paramedics transported Gray to Baptist Hospital…

And the doctors there STILL couldn’t get this epidermal out.

“The head anesthesiologist at Baptist knew someone at (UF Health Shands Cancer Hospital) in Gainesville who said, ‘Send her to us, we can handle it,’” Alvarado said.

 

Finally, on Friday morning, Baptist arranged an ambulance transport for Gray, who traveled six hours on her side along with Dylan Carter, her boyfriend and the newborn’s dad. She had an emergency procedure in Gainesville and they were able to successfully remove the epidural. Gray returned home to Milton on Saturday, but she said she’s still in substantial pain.

“It’s been crazy ’cause I still have a burning sensation in my hip and leg,” Gray said. “I’m kind of moving around on the walker a little bit but I’m having a lot of muscle spasms. Basically, day by day I’m trying to take it slow, ’cause every morning I wake up I just start right back over with the pain.”

Gray said doctors couldn’t give her a firm time table for her recovery or even guarantee that she would fully recover. Gray can’t even breastfeed her child because when they removed the epidural they had to give her narcotics, according to Alvarado. “It makes me want to cry,” the grandmother said.

In spite of everything, Gray has a heart of forgiveness:

“They didn’t do their job properly,” she said. “Just towards the doctors that did put the epidural in my back and didn’t really know what they were doing, I am a little upset with them, but you just forgive and move on, really.”

Better than most.

SMH: Florida Man “Accidentally” Shoots & Kills His Lover During Sex

side view of hand gun pistol with gun magazine

Source: skaman306 / Getty

Florida Man Accidentally Shoots Lover During Sex

According to The NY Post,  a Florida man is facing manslaughter charges after being accused of accidentally and fatally shooting a woman during a sex act.

Andrew Shinault, 23, allegedly shot a young woman in her in the upper body with his registered handgun in his home in the Tampa suburb of Valrico. The woman — whose identity was not revealed — was taken to a hospital where she later died. Shinault and the woman reportedly knew the gun was loaded and were using the weapon for “sexual excitement.”

Shinault was charged with manslaughter with a weapon on Friday. He was being held in the Orient Road Jail on a $50,000 bond. Florida involuntary manslaughter punishment can include up to 15 years in prison, 15 years of probation and a maximum of $10,000 in fines.

Florida Jungles: Man Gets Bit By 4-FOOT Python He Found In Apartment Toilet

snake

Source: Splash News / Splash News

Florida Man Bit By 4-Foot Python He Found In Toilet

Only in the strange terrains of Florida can you find a giant creature nestled in the comfort of your bathroom.

According to the Miami Herald, a 52-year-old man lifted his toilet seat in his Coral Springs apartment on Sunday only to find a 4-FOOT BALL PYTHON rise out the toilet and bight him in the arm.

Luckily, the snake was not venomous and the man was able to call 911 for treatment.

Chris Swinson, a spokesman for Coral Springs cops, said the department’s humane officer arrived to discover the snake on the towel rack. It appeared to have an infection and once it was removed, it was taken for treatment, according to Swinson.

 

The reptile didn’t belong to the man nor anyone in the apartment complex.

So of course, we have ALL the questions.

“It may have come in through the plumbing,” Swinson explained. “Who knows? It could have been there for a while.”

Like…HOW?

According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, the Coral Springs Humane Society took the snake to the veterinarian’s office where it was treated for a scale infection.

Well, we’re happy to know the snake is getting primped and pamper.

BUT HOW DID IT GET IN THE BUILDING IN THE FIRST PLACE?

*Sigh*

Oh Florida.

Florida MAGAs: Trump Speeches Will Air EVERY HOUR On Three Florida Radio Stations Until The 2020 Election

President Donald J. Trump...

Source: The Washington Post / Getty

Three Florida Radio Stations Will Air Snippets Of Donald Trump Speeches Every Hour

We shouldn’t have to remind you of the 2016 election to caution you against 45’s influence. The Cheeto charred man in the White House has a base that’s ride-or-die, so much that three radio stations are giving him major airtime.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, three local radio stations in Florida’s Panhandle announced that they would air Donald Trump speeches every hour and every day until the 2020 election. The announcement comes two days after Trump rallied his base in the area, vowing hundreds of millions of dollars in aid for the hurricane-devastated region.

The stations set to broadcast the speech include Classic Rock WRBA-FM 95.9, Country WKNK-FM “Hank FM” and Adult Hits WASJ-FM “BOB FM.” They’re all under the newly formed company Gulf Coast Media, owned by Samuel Rogatinsky.

According to Rogatinsky, each station will broadcast two-minute bites of Trump speeches every hour, sometimes twice an hour, until the presidential race.

“We ran it by a bunch of listeners and people in the area, and nobody’s upset about it. It’s Republican territory,” Rogatinsky said. “Nobody’s offended by it. It’s not an issue.”

The three stations, which cover Bay County, have facilities that were damaged by Hurricane Michael last fall, to the point that they went off the air for a couple months.

Rogatinsky said Panhandle residents have been feeling forgotten in the last seven months since the Category 5 hurricane. He says they were inspired by Trump’s speech at his rally on Wednesday in Panama City Beach.

“No games, no gimmicks, no delays,” Trump vowed of the funding. “We’re just doing it.”

Mhm.

Gulf Coast Media wrote in a press release:

Gulf Coast Media, Inc. senior management acknowledged that broadcasting the President’s speeches may not be consistent with conventional commercial FM radio, but we have taken this approach to show the community’s sincere appreciation for President Donald Trump’s work in Panama City and Bay County.”

Riiiight.

As mentioned earlier, the MAGAs love their pres, no matter how much BS comes from his annoyingly perched lips.

Rogatinsky told MSN that his three stations will offer similar airtime to other candidates if requested and as a way of complying with the Federal Communications Commission’s equal time guidelines.

“Really, we just want to have inspirational type things because the community is so down,” he told the Orlando Sentinel. “Nobody else is really promising or doing anything. They want to hear what he has to say.”

*Sigh*

Aight.