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SMFH: Jameis Winston Admits To Sexually Assaulting An Uber Driver, Suspended For 3 Games

Image via Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

Jameis Winston Suspended For Groping Uber Driver

Put being a decent human being aside for a second. After ALL that has happened in the NFL with players being accused of sexual abuse, domestic abuse and worse, this fool STILL found himself in this situation.

According to USAToday, Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ crab-leg-stealin’ QB Jameis Winston will be suspended for the first three games of the NFL season. Why? Because he groped his Uber driver. The league described the incident as “touching the driver in an inappropriate and sexual manner without her consent”.

Last year, when this assault became public knowledge, here is what Jameis said:

A news organization has published a story about me regarding an alleged incident involving a female Uber driver from approximately two years ago. The story falsely accuses me of making inappropriate contact with this driver. I believe the driver was confused as to the number of passengers in the car and who was sitting next to her. The accusation is false, and given the nature of the allegation and increased awareness and consideration of these types of matters, I am addressing this false report immediately. At the time of the alleged incident, I denied the allegations to Uber, yet they still decided to suspend my account.

I am supportive of the national movement to raise awareness and develop better responses to the concerns of parties who find themselves in these types of situations, but this accusation is false. While I am certain that I did not make any inappropriate contact, I don’t want to engage in a battle with the driver and I regret if my demeanor or presence made her uncomfortable in any way.

Now peep THIS bulls#!t azz “apology” that Jameis offered today:

“First and foremost, I would like to say I’m sorry to the Uber driver for the position I put you in. It is uncharacteristic of me and I genuinely apologize,” Winston added. “In the past 2 1/2 years my life has been filled with experiences, opportunities and events that have helped me grow, mature and learn, including the fact that I have eliminated alcohol from my life.

“For the position I put you in”??? Word?

Although I am disappointed in the NFL’s decision, I understand the NFL’s process, and I embrace this as an opportunity to take advantage of the resources available to help me achieve the goals that I have for myself.

The audacity. Also, wtf is up with the three games? That’s it? Grope a woman and miss 18.7% of the season. Wow.

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